Chris?


Well, I could have seen that coming. I know Chris seemed sweet and probably is a good man, but under that kind of pressure, I think it got to him. Accusing sweet Doug of antagonizing him? It didn’t even happen. Chris seemed way too sensitive about everything, which to mean screams immaturity. He’ll grow out of it and be an amazing catch, but isn’t quite there yet. I saw someone who maybe wouldn’t be able to handle much chaos, and with kids comes that, even if it’s the good kind. And yes, there is a good kind of chaos. Where all four kids are singing a different song at once, or playing sock wars with bundled socks flying everywhere, or laughing over a Chris Farley scene…we miss you, Chris.

I digress.

What I saw  in The Bachelorette Chris is that he kept saying he was the best man for Emily in that group. Anyone who says they are the best is only trying to convince themselves. It’s like playing Facebook’s game, Farkle, with a guy from Aussie who’s married, who says he has a great relationship with his wife, who flirts incessantly with me no matter how many times I tell him to stop, who doesn’t tell his wife he’s talking to more than one woman online…and he says he’s a “nice guy.” I put up with him for a few weeks, then cut off communication. He’s not a nice guy, and what I told him is his wife and I both deserve better.

Who do I predict Emily will end up with? Sean. He’s not my first choice, though. He might be a great guy but I haven’t once seen him act like a kid, really let himself go. He seems like he’d be very controlling, but I’m sure loving, and a great provider and protector. And Jef is a great guy, but does she not see that he’s probably Morman, and that’s not a bad thing, but definitely something she needs to know if she’s not Mormon? And yes, he’s so fun to be with, he’s so expressive and honest, you can’t help but love the guy. But Arie, he’s the guy for her. In that race car suit? Wow! Come on! And he is silly, goofy, honest, loving. It stinks that I think he’ll be the one rejected in the end.

I guess we’ll see soon enough. I need to get out more. No, I just need to get out, period.

Doug?


I know I’m a bit behind, but Doug? Noooo. He is so sweet. A little slow but man, he must have been hurt by some awful woman. And John, well I guess I could see that one coming. He just held back so much, but as the great Paul Rudd says in Forty Year Old Virgin, “that’s [his] journey.”

And as I warned you, I do have a bit of a meltdown when I talk about the abuse, so that’s why I haven’t been posting much lately. I’ll get back.

Ryan and Travis: Another Bachelorette Commentary


Hands down, Ryan is gorgeous, funny, charming, endearing. On the flip side, what he wants in a woman is much like a robot: not too emotional, logical, servant, etc. Some of the attributes on his list are good of course, like faithful, but as Emily says, there is nothing on his list about love. Kind of sad. And when he leaves her after not getting the rose, the one thing he really focuses on is how he looks, how his personality is portrayed, on camera. Not one tear. Because he knows getting women is not difficult for him. And I think he assumes that he will be the next Bachelor.

As for Travis, your heart just breaks. Look at the difference between Travis leaving, Alejandro leaving, and Ryan. Profound difference. And I just wanted to yell at my television, “Yes Travis, you will find someone!” But of course that would have been pathetic, so I didn’t yell it. I just thought it. It’s a toss up for me between Alejandro and Travis for the new Bachelor. Or that sweet man, sorry I can’t remember his name, with the disability. As I said before, this group of guys, especially the ones left now, have huge hearts, and real emotion, like Doug did on Monday. It made my heart hurt. They all deserve someone amazing, and what they don’t know is that they will probably get more offers of love than they can handle. I just hope they find someone perfect for each of them.

Anyway, just my thoughts, and I already know I am too committed to watching other people fall in love instead of finding my own. I just don’t know what that feels like, so I stay away from it rather than walking toward it. I didn’t know that PTSD was why I never could connect to anyone. Why I couldn’t stay. Or love very deeply. So I live vicariously through all the romance movies and novels and reality shows, and that’s how I feel anything at all.

A New Creative Project Book for 6-12 Graders!


Check it out at amazon.com! There are 5 really creative projects for 6-12 graders! Works great for home-schooled kids, too!

A Teaching Memory Poem


I Am Who I Am

 

A classroom

is not full of students

generic

waiting to learn one thing

one way

a classroom is full of people

like me

only younger

and like them

there are things

i want to know

and things i don’t

there are times i like to sit

and times I want to take a walk

sometimes i feel like crying

and other times

i can’t stop laughing

i feel sick

i feel well

i’m shy

i’m outspoken

i want to dance

i want to sleep

i want to curl up in a ball

and i want to fight

i have something to say

i have so much i feel

i have worth

i have truth

i have a life

that lives outside

this building

i want choices

i make decisions

i have different tastes

i wear clothes

i feel represent me

my hair is a statement

my eyes reveal

only what i allow

i don’t like being forced

humiliated

disrespected

i am who i am

and it’s enough

it’s okay

© 2005

 

The Real Story: Architectural Designs & Tarot Card Readings


Let me start by saying I really wanted to be an architect when I was younger. And it wasn’t Craig in the story who designed the spaceship house: it was me. And the design of the house rebuilt is also mine. I would love a house with a Bridge to Nowhere, secret passageways, and train tracks running through it. I also designed that house for wheelchairs, to include going through the pool, but again, I was very young at the time. It’s the thought that counts, right?

As for the tarot card reading scene, that was real. No one was with me at the time, as my children live in different houses in different cities, but I thought of each of them, to include the characters of Craig and Jason, and did an actual tarot card reading. It was dead on for my kids and myself, and I believe dead on the Craig and Jason’s characters.

Donate Anna Blair’s Visitors


A women’s shelter where I live read my book and loved it, and thought that if they had the funds, they

would buy a bunch of them and hand them out! There is a real need for women who have been abused

to read this book, to have some hope. If you are interested, this is a great way to give back. Because I

self-published, the book is kind of expensive and my hope is that a publisher will pick up my book, and

the cost will go down! For now, though, if you feel so inclined, why not buy the book and donate it to a

shelter near you?

 

Again, the book is for sale on amazon.com.

Charleigh Wallace